Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Remember, traveling underground in a rickety metal tube full of farts carries its own specific code of conduct.
Another site got the better URL but we're still the best creepypasta wiki on the web. YES they are all about video games.
It is for honor and sacred oathkeeping that I traverse the linked realms, pummeling the mightiest warriors from all clans.
Lenny talks about the difficult experience she had with her miserable piece of crap dog who never thanked her for anything.
It's hard to come up with original and compelling brand stories these days. That's why advertisers should repurpose the tried-and-true stories of classic literature.
If I built a functioning arcade stick for less than fifty bucks, you could make a nicer one in half the time and sustain fewer life-threatening injuries.
In the face of crude, rude behavior, a gentleness rises from the West. It is Gentle Creature Mark and he is listening.
I had to register my complaints while they were still fresh. And while the bark was still fresh and pliable.
Hey Asshole! Yeah, You, Jackass! Want To Know Which Disney Princess You Are, You Piece Of Shit?
Around the web and back again to you, the lord of the webrings.
Our new drone will follow behind you in an extremely friendly manner and capture 4K video of your adventures, your friends, your time in the bathroom, and your heartbeat as you sleep.
IMDB user lists can be used to rank film buffs' favorite movies and creators. 90% of these lists have names like "My Harem" and "Far East Pleasures Karma Sutra Women of Beauty"
It’s time to buy pure commercialized masculinity. But which model is right for you?
Boom! Celebrate girl power in the defense industry with the Wise Girl Statue!
Hey gamers! Looking for the newest, HOTTEST game news direct from this year's E3? Well, look no longer - Something Awful's got you covered!
"You're weak, creepy, and pesty. Consider euthanasia! Ha ha"
Levi Johnston announces his new role at the Department of Justice and his dislike of James Comey.
The marginally notable writer Leo Tolstoy once said: "All great literature is one of two stories; a man goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town." Well, almost. That quote is in fact an abridged version of a much longer quote. According to Tolstoy, all great literature is actually one of twenty two stories. These are the other twenty.
First they invaded our corporate water features, then they overran our golf courses, finally they took our freedom.
Time to re-up your inspiration for the grind and put some biz on the board. You are going to close your deals after you see these.
One brave man discovers drugs aren't as accessible as the media would have you believe.
"Hey, Did You Know This?" Gaming is the internet's premier source for game trivia, way better than those other guys.
"My Dance of Healing will mend your wounds. It takes two days, though."
It is standard procedure for the White House to have a synthetic. But it sometimes malfunctions...
This VR game has become sentient and is killing us one by one. But is it art?
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Why you honk and how it’s misinterpreted.
Gentle Creature has awakened from his worries. Shhhh. He has gone to visit his gentle cousin who also wants to be President.
Get good at the hottest online murder simulator with our collection of hints.
Hello, I'm the Dilbert guy. You might know me from: Dilbert, the comic strip about an office worker who hates Mondays but loves lasagna, and my 2016 book The Illusion of Thought: 50 Ways I'm Already Inside Your Head, which is now banned from being donated to many second-hand book stores.
A shocking memo from Steve Harvey to his cast and crew has been leaked to the public. You will not believe what he has to say about the giant bird he cares for.
Want to be a Freelance Bomb Disarmer? YouTube Topiary Critic? Horseback Dynamite Tosser? We'll show you how by telling you everything about the job you don't need to know!
Congratulations on buying your first house. With the budget tight for the next 20 – 30 years, here are some great strategies on how to ignore glaring structural damage until you’re able to sell this mistake.
The AHCA allows insurers to dramatically raise rates on people with pre-existing conditions. Do you have one?
Can inflicting severe emotional damage on your own children for profit go too far?
My new neighbour is an immigrant - and I'm fairly sure he's an illegal immigrant - and he has been harassing me and my family ever since he moved in. I'm just - I'd just like to know what legal recourse i have with regard to three major incidents, specifically.
Meet Jiub, a more relatable character than anyone in Oblivion, Skyrim, or Fallout 4. He has like three lines of dialog and I would die for him in real life without hesitation.
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
Expert analysis on the few things your cat likes and the many things it hates.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
Fans have been eagerly awaiting this game since long before its initial promised release date of Winter 2005. But is this truly the worthy sequel to Persona 4: Dancing All Night that we've been waiting for?
No attempt is made to hide the fact that Ripley is the actress Sigourney Weaver. No bandit mask, no hiding her face behind strategically placed palm fronds, etc.
I am an average middle-aged man who is totally done with all these beautiful women and just wants to settle down with the bee tour guide.