The beginning of every year brings The State of the Union Address, a speech given by the sitting President for the sole reason of generating the numerous, inexplicable applause breaks our democracy needs to thrive. But not everything can fit into an hour that somehow feels like five. Thanks to our President accidentally uploading his speech to a public DropBox folder, we at Something Awful are proud to present everything that didn't make it into last night's event.
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.